april was the month that became the best month of my life i had a girl that kept me warm at night gabriel was her name a vision of beauty it was perfect

may was the month when money got spread too thin and far between and i began using again and every time that i'd think i had a handle on things gabriel and i would line it up and take the blow and sit back and forget until the next time the bill collectors came around and we'd say we'd have the money soon but not now and they'd go away for a few days and we were living at the end of our means but i didn't care cause i still had her and it was perfect

june was the month when my birthday rolled around and my mother sent me a card and that was all i got except for an 8ball from gabriel she loved me enough to let me have that whole roll to myself and i gave her a bump and she was geeking and i was and then someone told us that there was a guy that was looking to unload an ounce of pure and i jumped at the chance and got the ounce and cut it sold it and doubled my money i got the furniture out of the pawn shop and was able to pay the mext months rent and for that time it seemed like things were perfect and it was

july came around and the same guy that unloaded the ounce came around again with two this time of pure blow and i got it from him on the promise i'd unload it and pay him in four days on the fifth day i had all but fifty bucks of it and his guys jumped me to make up the difference but that was ok cause i had cut the pure and bagged them up and had enough stock that if i moved it all i'd be able to buy gabriel the dress she wanted and i'd be able to pay the next two month's rent and it was all going to be ok

september came and we were having trouble cause gabriel had started using ice and i didn't approve but i let her be cause i had to worry about how the hell i was going to pay for the fucking rent and how the hell i was going to get the money to pay the guy for getting me 4 ounces of pure and three sheets of simba's gabriel didn't help cause she was too busy cleaning and fucking and cleaning and fucking and cleaning and fucking and pretty soon i just had to tell her that if she wanted to fuck anymore she'd have to call one of her girlfriends and so from now until further notice she told me that her friend beth would be staying with us and i said ok as long as she's holding

december showed up far too early and i'm having a big demand for blow that i don't have but this guy that my supplier knows has a connect that is gonna get me some and i was able to make do for then with the little bit that i had until it got here in early january beth died from od just before christmas i had to explain the the cops and paramedics that she had just shown up at my doorstep and i didn't know she was using until she died bitch caused a lot of problems for me and she could have been decent enough to die on the fucking tile or in the tub where it would have been easy to clean up instead of on the rug that got stained by her shit and piss when her muscles relaxed after she died fucking cunt but it was better cause she was gone and then it was jsut me and gabriel but i hadn't seen gab for a few days and she didn't show up until after christmas and she never said a word about where she was but the track marks on her arms told the whole story

january febuary and march came and saw gab go in and out of the methodone clinic while i pushed and cut and bought just enough to keep afloat and help gab and pay the rent

april is here now....... gab left me for some guy with money and a solid source......... and i'm fucked......... so now i'm lieing down, preparing a fix with the spoon cotton needle and belt...... there's a large air bubble in the syringe...... i don't bother with tapping it out....... why bother........ it's now in my blood stream racing to my brain where it will expand the vessel and cause me to have a stroke and die............ this is perfect.....