November 13th 2004
i've had her tied to the chair for about two days now........ her screams have died out, the voice having left her throat many, many hours ago..... now all i can hear of her are the thumps and screeches she emits whilst trying in vain to escape her bonds...... i turn to face her now...... away from the pictures on the wall....... "you see these pictures here?"...... "i know you have.  would you like to know who they are?"........ she looks at me with eyes dark from the anger and hurt behind them........ she doesn't respond......... "all these women in these pictures over here meant something to me" waving my hand towards the group of polaroids nearest the door "these women were ones that i spend my childhood with and on through the teens of my life, all the way up until present moments in my life".... "these women were ones i went to school with, met on the street, or knew from mutual friends"....... "all these women were ones that rejected me.  but i hold no kind of ill feelings for them, that was their personal choice to reject me but still hold my friendship"......... "these women are safe from me".........
"now these" walking towards the other side of the wall "these women are ones that also rejected me.  ones that rejected me and proceeded to hate me.   they hated me a few of them made it their personal goal to make me suffer in the rejection.  these women were women just like you"......
i see her looking hard into the smiling faces of those women on the wall i stand near......... her face shows signs of recognition and realization of my intents.......... her eyes fall and her head leans forward onto her chest as the last of her hopes fly from her..............
"would you like to see what these women look like now?"..... i don't wait for an answer...... mainly because i know i won't receive one.......... walking over to her, her eyes follow me sharply from across the room......... i approach her and stroll around to the back of her........ grabbing the cold metal chair and turn her with it.............. turning her half way round in so that she is now facing another wall.......... this one filled top to bottom, side to side with more poloroids.................. the chair makes an awful scrape against the concrete floor as i pull her closer to the wall....... close enough in fact for her legs to be pinned between the wall and the chair......... again standing behind her i grab her hair and pull her head up so she faces the wall......... "these are those women.   the ones of whom i just got finished speaking to you of.  do you see them?.   what do they look like to you?  do you see?"...... she tries to resist and turn her head, but i do not let her........... i see her with eyes closed........ "you must look!" i yell at her......... picking up a roll of grey duct tape from the floor i pull out a length and tape her eyelids in an open position......... staring back at her are pictures that convey an image of sadistic glee in the mutilation of one's victims.......... directly in front of her is a series of 8 pictures....... each of the pictures hold in it's frame a single image of a separate hacked off body part........ head, torso, arms, and the such....... the pictures are arranged in such a fashion as to make a cruel paper doll of the victims photographed body parts.........



november 14th 2004
i leave her now....... she's still facing the wall of pictures i have her against............ her eyes are still taped open......... i want her to fully see all of what has come to befall the previous guests of my little room........... i set up four sets of double head halogen lights to illuminate the room so she'll be able to see well....... it's quite bright in there now........ the light bouncing off the stained white walls and smooth grey concrete floor.............. providing that she'll be able to work her eyelids free after a while of struggle........ i doubt very seriously that she'll be sleeping tonight.......... what i'm i talking about....... it's not night........ even i have lost track of the daily cycle............ i look out the window and see that the sun just now rises to it's pinnacle in the sky..........
after a few hours of sleep and a rather nice meal of shells and cheese with sausage mixed with it........ i return to the room............ she's looking rather pale now......... the lights have raised the temp in the room to a point of about 95 degrees......... i release one of her hands with the promise that i'll let it remain released if she doesn't try to harm me or break her bonds........... i tell her that if she does i'll remove it and pin it to the wall like one of the many pictures............ "do you understand? no funny business when i take off this tape and rope.  got me?"........
"yes" came a rough voiced response...
her hand now free she immediately rubs her eyes..... fully freeing her eyelids from the duct tape round her forehead........ "you can take that duct tape off your head if you please"......... "i wont stop you there, but nothing else goes"............ she looks at me for a long while and then moves to unwind the tape....... when she gets to the last layer i see her face contort in a painful grimace as she pulls her hair free........... i left for the kitchen to retrieve her a glass of water....... i don't want her dieing of dehydration.............. when i returned i saw that she didn't fully believe my promise to her about trying to escape.................. the bonds surrounding her left hand have been torn free and now that hand lies unbound to the chair's arm........... however i did have the mind to secure her forearm as well....... so as it is she cannot do much with her newly freed appendage..............
"you didn't believe me did you?"............ she looks at me with fear in her eyes............. "here drink this".......... i gave her the water......... but she looked at it like it was a serpent in her hand......... "you drink that now, or i'll give you fluids through IV.  doesn't matter to me"....... she drank it............
"well, it looks like i'll have to IV you anyway.  that hand has to go".......... i grab the right arm and secure it down for the meantime............
retrieving a few saline bags and the proper gear needed to give a patient an IV i did so on her left arm.......... after doing so i pulled from a cabinet hung on the wall i vial of morphine and a syringe........... "i'll drug you, you wont feel a thing, but i did tell you that this would happen.  you can't say i didn't warn you beforehand.  no pun intended"  i chuckled a bit to myself as i pushed a rather large dose of the drug into her line.............
"we'll give that a short minute to let that kick in fully"........ "you know, you did that.  your hand is about to be gone forever because you couldn't listen and believe something.  it's really your fault that this has to happen now.  i was actually planning on letting you live a few more days.".......... her eyes have become glassy, but i know that she still hears and knows fully what is happening..............
i release her right hand........ placed the surgical saw in it......... then, holding it tight in her hand, begin to saw off the left............ the bones of the wrist put up quite a fight, but we finally cut through................. the blood began to spill rapidly onto the floor........ working quickly, i clamped the offending veins and vessels and cauterized the wound........... her eyes are still glazed over, but i push a bit more morphine into her............ i don’t want her to physically suffer, but i do want her to know that when i make promises i keep them................ thus the morphine, i could have been brutal and not used any......... but what kind of monster would that make me............ i did her a favor by drugging her......... i hope she realizes that.........
after securing once more her right hand and arm,  i pick up the now limp and semi-cold hand on the floor.......... i pry the ring off the fourth finger and place it gently onto the fourth digit of her right hand............... i use six nails to pin it to the wall off to the right of her............ one in each finger, spreading them wide apart, palm out....... and two at the gaping wound near the bottom of the palm..................
just before i leave the room i set up an electronic heart monitor and blood oxygen meter....... setting the alarms loud enough to alert me if her heart rate reaches a possibly dangerous level........... either too fast, or far too slow................ it's hovering at about 65 now.......... but that's only because of the drugs..............




November 15th 2004
late into the night i awoke from the gentle sleep i had fallen into by the horrid sounds of an alarm sounding...... the piercing beeps coming from the heart rate monitor jolted me wide awake, causing me to half stumble half run to her side.........  her pulse is nearly 150......... the pain in her eyes and the silent screams she emits tell me that the morphine has long since worn away........... how could i be so neglectful............ quickly i dose her with yet another stout syringe of the drug.......... in a minute her heart rate returns to normal, and i apologize for my oversight.........
"i'm sorry for that, i didn't mean to fall asleep like i did.  i guess that i am quite the horrible person now, seeing as how i made you suffer that pain without chemical help"...........
i horrid stench has taken over the room..... she has long since lost control of her bowels and bladder....... not that i can blame her, it has been a few days since she has had the freedom to relieve herself........... i move her chair to one side of the room and then wash away the filth with a hose........ turning back to her, i gently spray her semi-clean through the gaps in the chair's seat.........
i exchange her empty saline bag for a fresh one....... she lost quite a bit of blood volume during the loss of her hand........ also that, she is looking a bit dehydrated.........
she's awake enough to eat, but not chew....... i take some oatmeal to her and feed her much like one would feed a baby............ washing it down with a small glass of water........
now i leave her till tomorrow......... i walk into my kitchen and fix up a rather nice meal for myself....... a small hamburger steak with gravy, green beans, and some cornbread to round it out.......... a very good meal to sit and enjoy......... afterwards i reach for a newly released medical journal and read away the rest of the day.......... barely giving any thought to who sat in the backroom of my home.........



November 16th 2004
Today I became rather disgusted by how badly she was writhing and trying to escape her bindings….. so I removed her from the chair, after I had sedated her of course, and transferred the limp body to a table I had installed an almost comical amount of leather restraints onto….. it was rather warm in the room, so while she was unconscious I removed her clothing and gave her a bit of a sponge bath…. I then tended to the wound on her wrist were her hand used to be attached….. I’m a bit worried about an infection, so I give her a sizeable amount of penicillin to fend off the possibility…… after changing her IV bag and infusing it with some inject able nutrients I realized that it seemed a bit strange that I would be  exhausting quite a bit of my supplies on keeping her alive, when I would most likely just kill her in the end anyway…. But oh well, I don’t want her to suffer physically too much….. I want her mind to pain……
I wheeled in a television and vcr set into the room, and positioned it in her view…. On a whim I decided to treat her to one of my favorite movies….. “anal attraction”…… I figured that she’d wake up at just about the time when the film gets really good…… that should be a nice surprise…. The whore should like it I think…. As an afterthought I clip some nipple clamps on her tits…… then I leave for the day…. i had some bills to pay, and I wanted to stop by the grocer for a couple of steaks and some steak sauce….

November 17th 2004
When I returned home yesterday I was treated with the sight of my capture with her head turned towards the television set…… maybe she was enjoying it, I thought….. when I approached her body, I noticed that her lips had gone pale, and her skin was quite cool already….  
It was a shame to lose her that quickly…..
It was fortunate that there wasn’t a search for her….. I had picked her up after getting to know her in a local park….. she seemed nice enough, but when I got her in my car she asked for money……. I told her that I had it at my house, and that we’d have to go there…… she had agreed, and when she walked through the door I knocked her out…… how dare that bitch ask me for money to have sex, all I wanted was to have a nice night with someone I found attractive……. She showed her true colors, so I decided I should show her mine…….  Apparently she was homeless, or a runaway, and not missed by her family or street friends….  Thus the lack of police searching….

I released her lifeless body from the bindings and took her to another room in my house, a room I had converted into a meat cooler…. In it were an array of large hooks and a few others that have angered me in some way…… after placing a couple hooks into her Achilles heels and further securing it with a bit of rope tied around her heel and then to the hooks’ eye’s, I hoisted the body so that her hand was just touching the floor….. a quick skilled slice from groin to neck allowed me rather easy removal of the intestines, the liver, the stomach and all the other lower placed organs……. I then sprayed the cavity with a hot stream of water to remove any little bits I had left…. The diaphragm protected the lungs, and heart from the water…….
I retrieved the surgical saw, popped in a fresh battery pack, and then sawed apart the sternum…… another quick stream of water got rid of the little bits of bone and cartilage the saw produced……. I then spread the ribs apart, and removed her heart…. Which I placed into a jar filled with alcohol……. The lungs I removed and placed into a large pickle jar filled with alcohol…

See, the heart and lungs of a person have always interested me…… maybe I’m a romantic about it, but I feel that those two parts really tell all about the person in question….

Another spray of water, after I removed all the little bits I had left, and I set to cleaving off the arms….. skinning the right one, and hanging it on a nearby hook to age a bit….. the left one I placed on a table where I would later dissect it……
I very carefully removed her head and submerged it into a vat of embalming fluid….. this too I would later dissect, but at a much later date…..
All the other organs I had placed into a large bucket and was going to dispose of later… it’s strange that human organs look very, very similar to that of a pig’s or deer….. it was again fortunate that there was a vast expanse of wooded area behind my house… so if I disposed of them there, a general passerby would just assume that a hunter had field dressed a recent kill……
I then went around to the back of her, and made a long shallow slice across her lower back, across her shoulders, and then two vertical ones to connect the ends of the horizontals….. I then made three more vertical evenly spaced between the outer two…… I’ve found that this is the easiest way to peel off human skin, it is quite hard to peel, so smaller pieces make it easy…… I removed the two filets from each side of her spine, I then removed a large slice from the left and right inner thigh…. And finally I sawed off and removed her ribs in two large racks…… after hanging these meats to cool, I took the body down and placed it inside a large plastic trash bag…. I then placed that into 5 more…. Making sure to tie each one very securely…… I then, placed the entire bundle into a large waterproof river bag that one can get at any sporting good’s store….. I took the bag to a small shed I had in my back yard….. I’ll let it stay there for a few months until the decomp is complete…… then all I would have to do is wash away the goo, and encase the bones in concrete blocks which I would sink into a nearby lake….. all evidence gone……

And I must say, the ribs were very nice the next day when I bar-b-cued them….. my neighbor had smelled them cooking and I invited her over for dinner……